My Summer Vows

It's Summer.  I still have to work (I should have stayed a teacher) which sucks.  But that doesn't mean that for the few hours each day that I am not working, I can't do something fun, right?

But this has been a tough few months.  And I have been a royal bee-yotch.  So I'm changing things up a bit.  I'm taking the prompt from Mama Kat's this week and turning it on its ear.  Instead of saying what I will do this summer, I am trying to make a list of things I won't do.  You'll see, it will be good for me.

My 15 Things I Vow Not to do This Summer:

I will not...

1. Yell at my husband.  Oops, already broke this one.
 
2. Yell at the nurses.  Wow, I'm 0 for 2 right now and it's only the second week in June.
 
3. Yell at the kid.  I totally thought he was dead the other day, least I can do is give him a break, right?

4. Smother the pizza guy.  He came to my door and asked if the oxygen sign on my door was a joke.  I nearly clocked him right there, if only he hadn't looked so embarrassed when I told him it was my legal obligation considering the small 16-lb. bundle in my arms uses it every night.

5. Make a voodoo doll of the mortgage underwriter. Who asked me to explain why from February of 09 (when Potato was born) until December of 09 (when nursing care was on), I did not work.  Screw you, ho.

6.  Shove play-doh up my nose.  We all have to have goals.

7. Put Star Trek memorabilia on display in my new house.  Sorry, hon. It's all going in the attic.

8. Bitch about how much I hate my job to my supervisor.  Yeah, I'm not cut out to be an adult yet.

9. Depressively eat.  I hope, Papa John's, that you will see a decrease in your profits from our house.

10. Buy things I won't use.  Sorry P90 Beach Body, I'm just not an exerciser!

11. Complain about the heat in New Orleans in July.  I am too excited for this vacation/work conference.  I need to make the best of it.


12. Drink the water in New Orleans when I visit.  Thanks BP for ruining our world.

13. Compulsively grow vegetables for consumption when I only really get one tiny pea out of the whole deal.  I thought I could grow our whole winter's worth of veggies on my back porch.  So far, I've harvested 15 beans and a 1/8 cup of peas.  NOT CUTTING IT.

14. Forget where I live.  I live in a beautiful place.  We have free passes to a farm in the mountains.  You best believe that I will be exploring this area all summer.

15. Let bad people get the best of me.  Like Potato's pulmonologist.



This is part of Mama Kat's Writing Challenge: 30 Things You Vow to do This Summer.  I could only come up with 15.  So sue me.