I'm a Germaphobe and My Kid Licks Tables

My husband often makes fun of my germaphobic ways.  For instance, I have been known to rotate my pillow so that my face doesn't hit the same side twice.  Because I might sleep in the bed oils that my skin produced the night before and cause acne or other maladies.  And God forbid that I get stale bed oil on my beautiful face.

Yes, I am that weird.  I'm not OCD, but I'm pretty close. It's just one of my vices, ok?

So, when we were recently visiting Charm City (read: Baltimore), we decided to take in the lovely evening and have dinner on the patio of a popular seafood restaurant. As we sat down, I noticed the bugs crawling over the wood planks and the pigeons eating crumbs of bread underfoot and immediately got the heebee jeebees.  Unfortunately, I had failed to bring our disinfectant wipes, but I had brought hand sanitizer, which I slathered on one of their cloth napkins and wiped down the table.

When the waitress brought the high-chair, she must have seen the look of disgust on my face because she quickly began to wipe it down. I then added a second layer of protection by laying down our high chair cover and we plopped in Potato for dinner.

But Potato is not my child.  He doesn't care if some baby with leprosy used that high chair before him.  If he wants to move the high chair cover and chew mightily on the plastic, then so be it.  And if he wants to do it again, and again, while his mother screams bloody murder in the background, well then that's his prerogative.

But then, he did the grossest thing imaginable.  He leaned forward and tasted the table.  Like stuck his tongue out and placed it directly on the surface of the lacquered wood.  Over and over and over.

I tried to stop it, I really did.  My husband laughed because he new that my insides were twisting from the pure disgust of it all.

I know that kids do disgusting things.  And I know that I will have to get over my phobia for the sake of my kid.  But maybe later.  After I go take a bath in Clorox wipes.