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1) This morning, I forgot to eat my jello.
Not usually the sign of anything horrible, except as many of you who are on Weight Watchers know, every point counts! Jello sugar free snack cups are 0 points. And if you can fill up on 0-point foods, you aren't hungry and you haven't used up your daily allotment of those precious points. In fact, 0-point foods are so important that when the Hubs was on WW many moons ago, he used to keep a jar of pickles in the fridge at work, since pickles are a 0-point food. I used to feel REAL sorry for his coworkers.
2) Last night, the Hubs caught a squirrel.
But lest you begin to believe that the Hubs is some sort of Brawny-paper-towel mountain man who can kill small woodland creatures with his bare hands, let me explain. So see, I'm sick. I'm sick and therefore I'm tired. And all I wanted to do last night was sleep.
Which I did until I was rudely awakened by this horrible screeching, which my husband nicely explained was just another squirrel caught in the deer netting that is protecting his precious grass seedlings from TravelingDog. I asked him to go out and shoot it, pelt it with a rock, maybe do the right thing and free it, but no. He just said, "How 'bout I close the window? That should reduce the noise a bit." I almost hit him with a brick.
But let me tell you, that squirrel could SCREAM. Eventually it stopped. I don't really want to know what happened to it. I do know that the stupid thing robbed me of 2 hours of sleep.
3) The nurse thinks I have ebola.
After a sleepless night, I woke up at my usual time (4, butt-crack of dawn, AM) and found Potato's night nurse in the kitchen. As I stumbled to make my coffee, she asked me how I was feeling. When the Hubs had told her last night that I was sick, she got concerned.
I told her I was tired (see above), and she began to ask me all sorts of ridiculous questions:
How is your blood pressure? (Good, how is yours?)
Do you have any other aches and pains? (No, except for this nagging pain in my ass, fill in the blank)
She then began to rattle off the diseases that she believed I have. And as I blacked out from sheer boredom at this conversation, I am pretty sure she listed leprosy, bird flu, polio, and all sorts of other bizarre diseases that I am certain I don't have. I told her I was fine and left her to her own medical devices. I am pretty sure she is looking up my horrible attitude on WebMD right now.
So, it's going to be one of those days. Now, I should go get ready for work, before the Grumpy Fairy blows chunks all over me.
