The One on the Inside of My Wrist

Tell Us About That Scar.  This is my entry for this week's Writer's Workshop over at Mama Kat's. Click to see who else participated!

On the inside of my right wrist, I have a very tiny scar.  A white, perfectly circular scar, not visible to anyone but me.  And, it's my favorite body blemish (even above my crazy alien birthmark) because it reminds me of the day that our world changed.

When I got admitted to the hospital, I was incredibly swollen.  Something about high blood pressure and fluid retention.  I remember always making comments about my cankles, which looked, and I am not exaggerating here, like tree trunks.  In fact, my skin was so stretched from the fluid that it felt like it might rip, starting at my toes and gradually moving up my legs.

After awhile, taking blood got to be too difficult. The nurses installed this "contraption" (for lack of a better term) on my right arm, consisting of a central line, iv port, and tubes that wrapped up and down my arm and then taped in various fashions.  It was so heavy that I felt like RoboCop, although my arm didn't shoot bullets, lasers, or any other sort of crime-fighting ammunition.

The day it was taken out, our son was born.  I was in the recovery room, unable to move, and the nurse took it out.  I no longer needed blood tests because the birth of our baby allowed my body to heal, flush out the fluids, and let my liver get back to working condition.  And the only reminder of this robo-arm, the only reminder I have of my ordeal (besides quite possibly years of un-doable mental trauma) is this tiny, perfect white scar where the line was inserted.

The scar is most special to me because it doesn't signify pain or trauma, but life and joy.  Because the day the scar started forming was also the day that my son was born alive.  And the whiter the scar got, the bigger and more healthy my son became.  I have many scars from the birth of my son (including a really nasty one near my lady parts), but this one is the most perfect and the most unique.

The scar makes the experience real.  The scar reminds me that when faced with pain, I, in turn, received a beautiful gift.  A gift that will live with me for a long, long time.