Medaling in Yadda Yadda Yadda

This week's topic on Girl Talk Thursday has me thinking about what medals I might win if the things I was good at were bonafide Olympic sports. The only problem is that I am marginally good at some things, but not super-duper-rrific at them. For instance, I am better than some at playing the violin. But certainly not the best. I am also an expert reader, but not as fast or voracious as others.

So what am I medal-worthy in?  Here is what I would win if the following were Olympic sports:

• Procrastination -- I would win the silver.  I like to think that I plan in advance, but in reality, I am waiting to accomplish the things I don't really want to do.  Like empty the dishwasher, for instance.  I could go days without doing that.  It is only when it becomes necessary (like my favorite bowl is dirty, and I want to eat soup, but I refuse to hand wash the bowl, so I empty the dishwasher, then reload it, then re-run it, so that I can have my bowl).  Do you see the level of thought that goes into my procrastination?  TOTALLY medal-worthy.

• Organization -- I could probably go for the gold on this one.  After a short stint at The Container Store in college, I became the organization queen, trying to squeeze everything I owned into appropriately-colored and labeled boxes, bins, and crates.  If only organization like that didn't cost so much money, then my house would be neat.  As it stands now, there are pockets of clean and pockets of "this stuff had nowhere else to go so now it resides in a pile on the floor that I cover with a blanket." BUT, in terms of olympic motivation, I would definitely win the gold.

• Guilt -- Ah, the Jewish mother part of me finally pays off.  I would not only win gold in the guilt category, but I would be the world record holder.   As much as I am gifted in making myself crazy with guilt over things I have done, I am equally as talented in making others suffer with their guilt.  Funny how that works.  I, for all intensive purposes, create a swath of suffering wherever I go!  No wonder I don't make friends easily.  If only I was the medal holder, maybe young Jewish mothers-in-training would look up to me, pin-up my face on their wall, like a guilt-laden Shaun White or Michelle Kwan.  A girl can dream, no?

I think there are other categories where I might be in medal contention:  sarcasm (use of), inappropriate untactful conversations.  Perhaps laziness.  I would be famous!! If only this was real........